Daddy's Girl

most people with a dad, will never understand the full extent of how much it effects you to not have one. they go through their day to day life, and think he'll always be there, because he is. i have a dad. but i see him once every two weeks and even then we don't talk much or anything. The effects of not having him around aren't obvious. It's not like, you don't have much of a dad? well then i guess the reason you throw yourself at bad guys and get hurt and want someone so bad and can't cope well is because of that. It's not that obvious and maybe some of it isn't because of him but i believe a big part is. I don't blame him. It's been like this since I was 5 and he doesn't know how to act any different. I think I need to ask more of him, because lately it's like if i weren't to see him for a month or two, i wouldn't notice. i wouldn't miss him. Thats scary, cuz i know if my mom was gone for even a week id be calling her every day. I can't imagine how much that would hurt my dad to know. I don't like the way it is, it's just how it is.

Word from the wise.

Today I realized, no matter how much faith you have in someone or how much good you see in them when they're in the roughest time of their life it won't matter. It doesn't matter what you see in them or how much you love them and want to see good. They'll change when they want to. There's no use putting so much effort into someone who doesn't give a shit about putting effort into you. Sure, when they're older, they might be fine and a perfectly good person to be with. But for now, they have to get better on their own before you can be with them. You can't change a person, they have to want to change. And until they change, don't expect much.