ive been reading a book called, "Push" and it reminds me of the friends i used to have. i dont have them because i think i'm better, i was just betrayed. these friends were the kind that came from families with nothing much and talked lyk dis yo. i didnt judge. others judge but id back them up. theyre misunderstood, if u talk to them, theyre not less than you. they were raised differently but theyre not terrible no matter what. they have dreams, feelings, hurts, experience.. i had a bestfriend in that group. he didnt let many people in, didnt talk when he felt confrontation. i wanna say sorry for pushing him at the time i just wanted to see more from him , i knew he was capable of so much. he had trust issues and i gained his trust. i never let him down but i knew he was terrified. i got to the point where he could come to my house at night in the rain and id sit out on the wet concrete with him cuz he needed me. funny, this tough big 6 foot tall guy needing a little 5'2 white girl. he told me many times he needed me and he'd apologize to me. id forgive him because i saw so much good in him. and i thought he really did need me. i told him i promised to never let him down. i wanted to help him with school, i was like the only one that gave a shit about him and wanted him to succeed. i teased him a bit which maybe i shouldnt have done but i was just joking. anyways we got in a fight cuz he was buggin my other friend. he felt threatened, and felt i broke my promises. another girl came into his life and she punched me in the face. i guess she felt we were too close and he may or may not have told her to do that but he didnt care that she did it. we didnt talk since. we both lost trust in each other. and even tho he probably doesnt give a shit about me, i still hope he does well in life after all.
